lingo bingo

is anyone else sick to death of the corporate 'isms that basically say nothing because they are completely beaten to death (perhaps like a dead horse?)

its no wonder that american businesses are going in the crapper. people are too busy trying to get a seat at the table to align their synergy and accomplish key initiatives by EOD. excuse me, i need to bang my head against something hard.

luckily. some of my more forward thinking coworkers found the answer. and i got a nice gift out of it.
not knowing the edges of offensiveness, i wont reveal some of my favorites, but "shit donkey" comes to mind... hours of fun kids. hours.

next topic. football. did you really think it was AT ALL avoidable?

we flew up to pgh to see them whoop on the pats. it was beautiful. the game, not the flight. lets just say bobby read an entire book and i have 8 new facebook friends. it was a LONG day of cancelled flights.
this was outside philly. the remnants of the freak snowstorm that f'd up the east coast. thanks.

we did make it and to the game. might i add it was 34 degrees. thats COLD people. especially when you got on the plane it was 76. great to catch up with my brother. we four partnered up for a game of flip cup.

and of course there was beer pong. good day. muchas gracias to our lovely hosts.

finally made it into the game and i likely didnt shut up for 4 full quarters. though i will make a plea to the folks at heinz field.. as much as we LOVE the renegade song and clips, its PROVEN that our D will give up a big play immediately following. i've seen it EVERY time. so come on. play it when it doesnt count so much. really. i'm begging you.




i came across this and i LOVE it.
ive entitled it "suck it tom".

our buddy marty celebrated his big four oh. and all he got was this stupid plate on the ceiling. sheeeesh.. (errr ok .... he ONLY had to drink 200 different beers to earn it...).

i also flew to ny. at 6 am. that my friends is a BAD idea. i mean there are bad ideas then there is a 6 am flight. totally different level. i did manage to find some time to see central park in the day light. and pop into some shops...

who doesnt want to smell like that? i mean i'm thinking if you combine these two you get Cirrhosis of the liver....(yep had to google how to spell that one)

and then it was time to celebrate marty's bday again. lucky SOB.



what better than to see the foo fighters. oh yes. yes. yes. yes. it was awesome. they played for THREE hours. excellent show.






maybe one of these days i'll actually write something with meaning and depth. or jeez, about triathlon. eh, maybe not.

winner winner chicken dinner

feeling lucky today?

game number one:

one of these lovely ladies is seven months pregnant. can you guess which one? its similar to the shell game where you have a snow ball's chance in hell to get it right. because lets be honest, NO ONE looks it. as evidenced by my coworker who actually said "you're joking right?"

game number two:

guess which of these i had at the fair....if you said "fried oreos" you are correct! if you said: "a rough nite in the tummy dept" you might also be correct! other acceptable answers include: "how is it they are able to fry a fruity beverage" OR "we should have made better rules after the civil war so things like this and dollywood wouldnt happen".

bonus round:

this is the award winning biggest pumpkin. tell me how many times gallagher would have to hit it with a sledge hammer to get it to really spew. (and if you dont know who gallagher is, your world is sad).

next:


this is a two parter... first predict the winner of this game. Then, if you said steelers you get to play again!(if you said the pats i hate you and you are not my friend.and i curse you.) now tell me how many beers will be consumed at our tailgate*.
*beer pong is involved.

if you've made it this far, congratulations for having NOTHING to do today.

lastly, this is a multiple choice question....



thanks for playing. i hope it is not too obvious that i'm pretty low on material these days.....

normal

today i was told i was normal. and i wasnt happy about it. not that i'm some left wing idealist who needs to feel separation and superiority from the general population. nope. far from that.

i've been feeling off. for a while. while the details are not important, the future is. and i'd like to figure out what beat i'm missing.

you might find yourself at this point saying 'jeez, could you be any more cryptic'. well in fact yes i could. but i came to this party a little late and missed the hammering home of the definition of "public domain". meaning people read this shit. so with all due respect, i'll stay vague and perhaps just throw in more comedy bits to make up for it. sound ok?

so lets skip to dessert.

i was in the ladies room today, doing the business. and as i was toweling my hands a co-worker came in. we exchanged pleasantries and i headed out. but then as she clicked closed her latched door, she proceeded to ask me a project related question that unfortunately required a rather lengthy response. ummmmmmmmmmm.

maybe its my fault for not bolting out. or did i give her the green light by saying "hi how are you?" does that open the gates for a full on meeting in the lavatory? is anyone else cringing right now?

so heres a thing. anyone seen that show on CBS called two broke girls? i did. and i regret the 10 minutes wasted. during the game yesterday the station mentioned it was the number one show on tv. with what audience i had to wonder? surely no one with a brain who resides in an english speaking country. who knows.. maybe its better dubbed in french.

i am way excited for a little running road trip. looks like i'm heading down to the big easy for some fun and games. that is shaping up to be a good one.

i'm racing again this weekend. a little trail thing here local. a friend who actually is from pgh who lives her now won it last year averaging something stupid like 545 min miles. my plan is to not fall.

i'm loving reading the full reports from kona and seeing all the photos. hawaii is such an amazing place. and for one split second it made me want to do an ironman.


i stole this off the internet. from the guy who did the cool steve jobs tribute logo. its pretty cool.

the most wonderful time of the year

yep football. so happy.


this weekend we made the pilgrimage to knoxville. for some down home southern fried football.


to say its loud here is like saying will and kate had a big wedding.


here's madison. she likes to stick her head where it is convenient to be scratched.

and today its raining.

lets drink about it

words to live by. at least when you are 26.

my old friend matt taught me that. he also taught me:

russian bar owners in NYC will open up to a scragggly bunch of crazies at 4am

when little brothers get kicked out of bars it simply means its time to find a new bar

pretending you work for the IOC has more perks than actually doing it

the ability to hold a somewhat coherent conversation with strangers can sometimes lead to a wedding

he's been gone for a few years now. and i'm alot more behaved. neither is good.



As my tri-less life comes more into balance these days, thoughts for sure turn into 'whats next'.

but in the meantime, while i try to convince bobby we need a beach get a way (st Martin anyone??) in preparation for the holidays...he counters with the fact i burned his vacation quota on the Kilimanjaro trip...bah humbug i say.

i give you these bits to ponder...

David stern has announced some cancellation of the nba season. anyone care? anyone? maybe now TNT can carry some quality programming instead of nets v magic. (wow i'm amazed i just named two nba teams. right? arent they?)

i heard a little nugget talking about if Jesus was alive today... would for sure be interesting.. would he be on the cover of US Weekly with headlines about "the saviour" haircut sensation? would there be chatter about him wearing the same robe to last years oscars? would he and penn get in a twitter spaz about who actually invented the water to wine trick?

tosh.o is one funny m*f'ckr.

i've been a bit down lately with some yucky stuff. one BBM* message later and i was reminded that "geez kari, you and i skied down the road in the commons. did the walk of shame on parents weekend. sat five across in the explorer for half the east coast. how much worse can it be". true that. *BBM=black berry messenger for all of us who milk the work phone for all its got.

my resume is full of things i'm mostly good at but alot hate doing. my chair at work swivels and spins. awesome.

modern family is the best thing on tv right now. case in point:
Dylan: I don’t think we’d like the same music.
Cam: Because I’m gay and only like show tunes?
Dylan: Because you’re old.
Cam: Well, that hurt more, Dylan.

madonna will be singing at the super bowl this year. i guess they figure if there is a wardrobe malfunction, the general consensus will be "seen it already"

i'm back to run focus. and it feels good. or rather not swimming feels not bad...in the market for a nice fall half and then maybe some trail stuff in the new year.

peace.

(who says that. lame).

the only way

i know for sure what time it is these days is to consult my phone. it has the ability to automatically adjust for the proper time zone. i do not.

they say when you have a near death experience your life flashes before your eyes. as evidenced in the photos below, i will likely be hoping the slide show isnt very long.

this is me in the luxembourg gardens in paris. some of us literally snuck away from work to see the city in the light of day.


i admit i stole this, but it shows the type of things we find funny while trapped at the shows. all. day. long. i mean nothing says fresh (in a YO! MTV raps sort of way)like a baby on skates.


i love this.to me its saying "get this f'ing cotton shirt off of me"


oh yes all you jealous folks. i spent my birthday in paris. here it is. champagne in plasic cups. but only one glass in accordance with company policy.


the actual party was in montmarte. best. mojito. ever. ever. previous paris birthdays have been celebrated with an armenian key board player, but this time we thought we'd upgrade to posh. it worked.


i took this on my last night. its the view we have of the... umm...ahhh....

this is my game watching buddy. seriously. bobby is usually in and out, and depending on the pitch of my screaming might come see what happened.

so thats it folks. thanks for all of the well wishes on my birthday, and for those of you who sent actual cards in lieu of face book, i applaud you.

and to my friend jen, THIS looks amazing and i would eat it in one bite. and i mean, who the hell thought there would be a blizzard in hakone that day.... lylt.

I get by with a little help from my friends

Surely you know the next line....
 
I have a great grilled cheese story that might be appropriate here... But I'll refrain.
 
Supersized congrats to all the girls who killed it at ironman this weekend.  You are amazing! I'm so happy to call you friends and sometimes chase you around on the bike! (jmw you know the madira canyon ride and double stuff played a major role in your podium!)
 
Ever feel like time passes and you are just not even present and accounted for? That's Been me. Bueller...bueller....?
 
A week ago I took off for the gulf coast. Honestly I wasn't entirely sure the exact spot on the globe I was headed, but hell that's why we have smart phones, providing us an utter lack of responsibility. How nice would it be, if some one was acting like an ass, you could simply pull out the battery and hard boot them.....
 
I was meeting Liz and her sister for a weekend of fun in the sun, and maybe a little racing...
 

 
I will now summarize.
 
Rollin in the impala. Lost in the hood. Killer hotel view. Weird drunk man roaming halls. FOOTBALL! Up at the crack. Unknown fried pig parts on breakfast buffet. Trashy magazine choice, Kim or Jen? Day at pool. Who needs SPF? Race check in. Holy shit fast looking folks. Who was dumb enough to drag wetsuit RD asks? Me me. Dinner a la italia. Race day. Nerves. i refuse to wear paper bracet. drama. Oh it's wetsuit legal you say? Water temp dropped ten degrees you say? F you I say. Mines still packed.  gun bang. swim hard. get kicked. keep swimming. all alone. sharks? jellies? crap.  out and on the bike. lets roll. chant "i am neo. i am neo". it works. dismount of glory, crowd cheers. i'm running. i'm good. fourth. fun. booze cruise cleverly disguised as dolphin sighting. cheap wine and new friends. thanks hall sisters.
 
holla!
 
i pack up my bike and bid a fond farewell. most of you share this same heartfelt passion for your kids, i like my ride. shut up. im on the next flight.
 
destination baltimore. home of the black birds and sight of an epic sunday match up. i got hooked up with some ridiculous seats. i admit heckling joe for 4 quarters helped to ease the pain. well that and some cold beverages.
 

 
attention ESPN: my level of depression only deepens as you continue to play that game over and over and over and over again. the fact that you follow it with tom brady highlights only twists the knife. must you do that? must you?
 
in other news my bike is home.
 

 
admit it. you're a sucker for a happy ending.
 
also, i'm back at work. cotton farmers hold your applause.
 
my major accomplishment for the week turns out to be my ability to keep my self-topped fro-yo cup under $3. my companion was not so lucky. she claims the bananas put it over the top, but i seem to remember some cheesecake under there....
 
this weekend i head to paris. dont start hitting your LIKE buttons quite yet. if you recall my time there is not unlike a 6 grade science class spent watching a filmstrip about mitosis. even if you were the one who got picked to advance the slides, there was still a zero chance of any fun. and if you were like me you got in trouble for doodling your lead pencil on the black table.
 
care to read a recap of my time there from a while ago?  come on, everyone is doing it.
 
cheers.