It’s a good thing dreams don’t come true.

Last night I had the worst race day dream ever. Seriously. I am one who dreams a lot, dreams very vividly and remembers it all. even what people are wearing and what they say and well everything. So last night (after getting home hyped up from being at the pens game!) I finally got to bed about midnight, maybe that was the reason for the chaos in my head. Who knows. But the dream went a little like this – I was racing steelhead and had just gotten to town and was hanging out with jen drinking tang. We were playing go fish and I had not a care in the world till I looked at the clock and it said 10:30. And I started to panic. See I didn’t even bother to see what time my wave started and at that point I figured I better go get my number and get my stuff into transition and see what the deal was. So I realize that my wave did indeed go off at 10:30 wearing light blue swim caps… so I go to the packet pick up hoping to get my number really fast and catch up to them (ha likely scenario right?!) and I get up there and have to search for my name on a list that is like 80 pages long and in no order what so ever. So I finally find it and my number is, get this, 19988_B. what the b stands for I have no idea. so I say OK that’s me, and the guy is like, yea for this race there are no numbers given out. UMMM ok. so I rush off to start the swim (sans cap as I was told you were supposed to bring your own). And I had long pants on to swim. Not a wetsuit but long pants. So I get to the start and there are a few people there on relays – note the start is actually similar to the line you might stand in for a roller coaster – and everyone has their send off in what started out as pool like steps and on my first swim (yes first swim) it was kind of like a lazy river ride where you got to the end and then had to jump out and run back along a very narrow ledge and do another lap… but I digress…so realizing that once I finished the swim I would have no bike to get on to. I ran to grab my bike and find transition. I ended up leaning my bike up against a fence because that is what some seemed to be doing and I grabbed one water bottle and found a hose to fill it up. Then realized I didn’t have any shoes so had to go and find them. THEN I saw the real transition area but said F it and kept my stuff as is. So now it’s been a REALLY long time since my wave started and I go back to the start line and some lady with a whistle tells me that I can start with this other wave.. so I do and the course is NO JOKE through a very shallow stream then has a 90 degree vertical drop then thru a tunnel and its like some Egyptian pyramid setting and some how I’m in the lead. Guess I swim thru rocks and small channels pretty good! so anyway – fast forward to the end when I cant remember the combo to my locker where all my stuff is….
I think I have these on the nights when my days are pretty crazy and all that crazy just translates over. Pre-super exciting penguins game – I had to bust out of work and use the 2 hrs 10 minutes I had before I had to be leaving for the game to get in my 1 hr 55 minute workout, shower, EAT! And get out the door. That was made a bit easier by the fact that I ran to the ATM machine for the run portion, though I cant say that was the smartest move during rush hour when they are doing construction at the major intersection and the rains of the day had washed out most of what had been the shoulder of the road.. gotta make things interesting right?

the "uh huh" moment

being on vacation this week has been FUN! despite the monsoons we managed a great time at a few of the parks in orlando. best i would say was the simpsons ride- that we went on a few times. that and the hulk roller coaster. loved that.

today, being the day before a holiday weekend my illustrious job gives me half a day. and bobby had the day off which he was all too excited to go and see some new terminator movie that we both knew i would never see. this afternoon he asked if i wanted to go to the pool and do a little swimming. see bobby was (or i guess is) a really REALLY good swimmer. he doesnt do it anymore, much. so me, in much need of a tutorial (um hello 38 minute swim!!) said ok. here is a little of how that went:

(after swimming a bunch of laps with his instruction on my stroke and his chuckles at my flop turns - no that is not a typo)

Him: so how does that feel?
me: weird.
him: that is because you are actually swimming now.

OH.

he said "you swim like a seahorse. straight up and down. its now wonder you never get anywhere".

OH.

so with that i leave you with a few memories from our florida adventure. my FB friends have already seen these but perhaps there are still some of you left in the dark ages :) ha!

PS - thanks steph for coming down - it was GREAT to have you there!!

Adventure Commencing in T minus 12 hours

Tomorrow morning we head down to Orlando for my race and then a little vacation time. Seems simple enough, right? pack your stuff, get in the car and drive. Yes? No. No. No. nothing ever is easy or turns out the way its supposed to around here! I can see it now… bobby insists on being on the road at 6. “to avoid the traffic”. here is probably a very accurate look at how the morning will play out:

530 the alarm goes off.

534: i remember the crazy dream i was having

545: I actually get up. Wander around the upstairs for a bit thinking that there has to be more stuff that I need to pack. I wonder if i have time to vacuum before we leave. Eventually get dressed and begin to bring bags downstairs.

552: bobby is making coffee and watching ESPN. The dogs are skipping around thinking “yippie we get to go on a trip”. I sit down to watch the TV as they are doing a story on the pens…

6 am: we start to load the car and now debate if the bike rack is really put on correctly and will my bike actually make it to FL unscathed.

611: still fooling with bike rack trying to make it “more secure” as I am a bit protective of my bike and now bobby is wondering if this trip is a good idea or not. I remind him of the monetary value that is now hanging by threads from the back of my truck.

620: bike is on and ready to go. I now have to get my food and drinks for the ride and then go back in and pack one more bag of things that I think I will need, but know that i will never even use.

623: I am back in the house saying goodbye to the dogs for the millionth time.

625: still saying goodbye to the dogs.

628: we are actually in the car pulling out of the neighborhood when bobby forgets his sunglasses and we go back.

631: have now said “screw it if we need it we will buy it” but have to stop for gas as my tank is never above ½ way filled.

640: heading in the direction of the freeway. I have somewhat vague directions to get where we are going. “go to 95 and head south – we’ll figure it out” I say. That does not amuse bobby. Oh well, I get out my pillow and sleep for about an hour.

755: begin asking bobby “are we there yet, I’m bored”. He sighs and turns up the radio to drown out my chatter.

930: I begin to call every person I have a phone number for to make the time go by. When they don’t answer because DUH they are working I begin to email.

…….. and so it goes.

One ticket please.

Its been kind of a roller coaster last couple of days here in the great state of north Carolina. I really haven’t been sure if I should tighten the seatbelt or just throw my hands up and scream. We got some really bad news about my g-ma (who is not technically my g-ma, but my pa’s third wife who happens to have been my real g-ma’s BFF her whole life, so she really is part of our family). She is 95 years old and suffers from dementia. She’s taken some really bad turns lately and is not expected to recover. Its been hard especially for my mom, as she watched her mother suffer thru her last few days many many years ago. A time I vaguely remember, but mostly just in parts and pieces.

You never really know what kinds of emotions lie just beneath the surface and when they might come out. I pulled up to the wall during a swim set on Friday and found that I was crying in the pool. Times like this really make you question your life and what is important to you. Saturday proved to be the toughest day of all when I skipped a group ride and instead sulked on the coach for a good hour just not wanting to get on my bike. I had no motivation and zero mental capacity to go ride for a few hours. But I ended up mustering up something and headed out. sometimes that turns out to be a good thing – keeping to the things that are familiar to you.

I had to laugh a bit Saturday night as one of my friends was turning 30 and throwing a bash. Me not wanting to be a total buzz kill decided to skip the party and just kind of veg and let the events of the past few days settle out. ok so here is the funny part.. my 96 (to be 97 in 2 months) year old pa went to a birthday party that night at the complex where he lives. Yes I was home watching movies and he was out on the town. Now that my friends is funny.

Sunday morning I had a great run with Bri. She is so easy to talk to and really has a good vibe going on. Oh and some steller running form I was trying to emulate… post run bobby and I thought it would be good to try out the bike rack we got for my car to use on the trip to FL. Bad idea. not the bike rack but rather the installation with lack of direction done by 2 people with completely different visions. That. was. A . fiasco. Enough said.

I’ve had a lot of thoughts going into florida this weekend. How am I going to race when my mind is heavy with emotion. How will it be to see my grandpa? (he lives about an hour from the race). I’ve been kind of blocking a lot of it out and I think its catching up with me as I had a dream last night about the day before the race and having an OH SH*T moment about 5 pm that yes, I was in deed signed up for a race the next day and had yet to prepare. It’s time now to turn that thinking around. And focus on some positives.

Thanks to everyone for your prayers and kind words. Once again this sport has not let me down but in fact helped to bring my spirits up.

Crazy is no fun…

When you are by yourself.

This week has been tough. Bobby has been gone to new York for work so not only do I only have the girls to talk to – which in some ways is good as they tend to give me their undivided attention and never disagree – but I’m having to do torturous things like cook my own dinner and clean up after myself. Oh the horrors. But it’s true. Though my bike is still on the trainer in the middle of the kitchen and I have about 4 pairs of shoes sitting in the hallway along with my backpack and a week’s worth of contents..…shhhhhh…. Tuesday night I spent about 10 minutes on the phone with bobby trying to figure out how I can possibly get the tuna I got from trader joe’s to cook right. yes it was pre-marinated. Yes it was frozen and had to be de-thawed. That is the step that threw me for a loop. I figured the thawing would happen pretty quick. Don’t things melt fast? Umm no. (and yes I’m an idiot). So I just tossed the thing in the oven and hoped for the best. Anyway the other fiasco was the dishwasher broke like 4 minutes after he left on Sunday. And it was full. And for 2 days I kept pressing the button hoping some magical Kenmore elf had come into fix it but no. still nothing. And meanwhile I’ve used up every dish in the house and am contemplating getting out the “good” stuff (i.e. wedding registry) because I don’t want to wash dishes…..And then bobby tells me to look at the middle switch above the sink.. apparently it was flipped the wrong way. Uhhh what? When did he learn this little tidbit of information and why has he not shared it with me. I am now wondering how many other switches we have in the house that are sneaky like that. so needless to say, when he leaves I tend to go a bit off the deep end and well… it’s not pretty. The ONE good thing though is having the whole bed to myself. That is fantastic. I can sleep diagonally and hog all the covers. And Madison loves it too since she doesn’t get kicked out. sweet.

Training this week has been tough at times. Mainly because of some other things going on - so the focus has been to finish and then jump into something else.. and not much time to properly recover afterwards. That’s really hurt me – since I know its contributing to being tired and kind of sluggish this week during the day. I need to get better at planning the post workout eating ahead of time. Also the Carolina heat and humidity has started to show up here and there… which can be brutal. I’m kind of back to frustrated with the swim. I really had felt like I was making some progress but now I think I’m back to lack luster. It’s defiantly a slow process. I’m hoping for a good swim in florida next week to at least see some improvement from last fall (the first and last time I’ve done 70.3). I’ve been hitting my marks on the bike and run this week pretty well so I’ve been happy with that. And I’ve also realized I’m kind of a bitch sometimes. (I know.. SHOCKER right?) It’s at the gym when I’m lifting. I’m not sure if someone pins a sign on my back that says talk to me….but it seems every time I’m in there some dude has something so important to tell me and I take off my ipod only to find out he has let stupidity slip through his lips. So now I just ignore people. Literally will walk away or stare straight ahead. I don’t even make the motion of “oh I’m listening to music cant hear you” anymore. And I’m happier for it. MUCH.

the climb

reading marit's post this morning about another epic palomar ride and then hearing this song on the radio.... well its a good day to learn a lesson :) ok granted i'm not so much a fan this singer, but come on, the lyrics HAVE to speak to you just a little! - maybe a little more if you take out the "yeah"s. and marit - in no way am i comparing to you to the pop-pipsqueak who moonlights as her own nemesis....

Finding my compass

Sometimes race time brings absolute chaos into my life. The reason being is that a few days of total (or mostly) rest come with it. While that is usually a welcome to legs tired from running and arms sore from swimming, my mind doesn’t like it so much. It likes to be occupied and when presented with 4 days (in the case of this past race) of rest days, it doesn’t know what to do. I’m the kind of person who can’t even sit still on the couch and read a book. I get antsy pretty fast. Probably why “WE” don’t rent a lot of movies, I get up in the middle and find something to do….

Anyway - For instance, Friday I found myself sweeping out the garage and organizing our donation to the good will. Yes I felt the need to make sure our junk was orderly. Saturday I actually watched some of the NFL draft from my perch on courtney’s couch. Now that my friends is CRAZY. Monday I went on a shopping binge and granted got some good stuff (new pink sun glasses to make my cool factor rise a few points on the bike!) but even then the “what the heck do I do nows” were creeping in. see when you get so used to a schedule and know that you have say two hours of workouts after work and you don’t get finished until about 8:00 or so, you get used to it. And you even sort of crave the hectic –ness of trying to fit in meetings and dinners and drinks with friends and dog walks. So I was itching – at the very least- to get back to the workouts. Last night was a good one for a few reasons. First off, it was a gentle ease back onto the bike, after a kind of knock-out punch in the pool…. But anyway – let’s focus here. So the bike ride. When I first started riding about 2 years ago, bobby used to come out with me all the time, we’d head over to Jordan lake or something and just ride. it was fun. But then he had an epiphany and denounced triathlon (he was the one who got me started in the first place!) and went back to his old love of lifting. Which is cool, I can respect that. so now a days he may come out with me on a cool down or when I’m just wanting to test something out around the neighborhood. But last night I had an hour on the docket and he was game. So out we went over to the library and around some quiet stretches of road. Its funny, cause he likes to sprint up the hills and beat me. Whatever. Yesterday he was drafting off of me which was slightly hilarious since he outweighs me by about 80 pounds. Anyway it was a good night. Good to get back in the saddle, good to be out on a night when the weather was perfect (a bit windy but who’s complaining) and good to have someone who makes me dinner. LOVE that. I did manage to bake some brownies last night, from a box, and only after some of the mix ended up on the floor and one of the eggs almost made it in the bowl… arrrgh.